Christmas Wreath Completion

Christmas Wreath Goodness Part 2: Completion

The Finished Product

It is finished!  I'm very pleased with the results although I've begun another one and Hot Papa, the husband, informed me this morning that he likes the new one better...oh well.  Second time's a charm right?

So here's the rest of the steps for completion.  When last we met, the wreath looked like this:

Glitter Ball Bombed Letter Goodness

I must admit trying to figure out how to get the letter attached to the frame was quite a conundrum for me.  I ended up threading a stout needle with fishing line and then using a hammer to push it through.  Sounds a little white-trash-like but when crafting at the Maleski household you do whats you got to do.  So I did.  Here's what you'll need to get your glitter bombed letter affixed to your frame:

Beads, Letter (back of it), tape measurer, needle,
clear thread, a hammer (not pictured because I forgot to...oops)

From the above pic, you can see that I've already gotten one side completed.  To make sure my beads on the completed side didn't slide off, I used some duck tape and adhered it to the back.  White-trash-like:  keep it real and practical.

My helpful hammer

Now, you may be asking yourself, "Lauren, just how do I make my glitter-tastic letter float inside my frame?"  Here's how.  Take a stout needle, I'm not sure what gauge it was but it was big.  I threaded it with some fishing line.  I tried to push it through myself but I couldn't so I grabbed a hammer and that did the trick.  By placing the needle on the letter and tapping it partially through, I was able to ensure that the needle would come out the other side (so I wouldn't have a needle living inside of my letter)

Below you'll see the threaded needle, not lost forever inside of my letter.  Tie the loose end on the backside of the letter with several knots to make sure your thread doesn't pull through.  That would be no good!

What you'll get 

I hate measuring.  That's why I'm not a good cook and Hot Papa doesn't like for me to hang pictures.  I prefer to free flow things but in the end there's nothing wrong with a little structure.  To make sure that my letter hung evenly, I measured the frame and then decided where I needed to nail the nails into the backside.  I slammed a couple of nails in after that.

Exactly the same distance from both corners

The last thing to do was string beads onto the fishing line.  That was just a personal preference thing for me.  I kind of wish I hadn't done it and left the allusion of a free floating letter but once I had completed the project I didn't want to go back.  Below you can see the finished product.

Lauren is crafty

So now my monogram lives on my front door.  I'm happy with it.  This project is super easy but does take a little time.  I glued the balls at a snails pace while I watched TV at night.  If I had sat down and done it in one swoop it would have only taken a couple of hours at most.  But I didn't.  I took my time.   

If you are interested in this project check out the first blog post:  Christmas Wreath Goodness for the beginning stages.  Also, I can totally make you one of your own.  But you will have to pay me.  Not a lot.  But something.

Homemade Tree

Viva la Christmas Tree

When I was a teenager my mom decided to do a sort of art deco Christmas tree thing.  She strung pieces of garland around rope and hung it from the ceiling.  The pieces of garland were attached to this wooden disk and in the middle of it was a nativity set.  I thought it was totally strange as a young'en but now I see the genius.  Which brings me to this post.

Last year Michael and I made a 10 foot tree out of scrap wood that we put in our front yard.  

Gargantuan Outside Tree 

I'm fairly certain this tree is some variation of something I saw on Pinterest.  The colors I used were of my choosing and the wood we used to build this thing was dying a slow death on our garage floor.  One afternoon and a few power tools later, Hot Papa and I had a huge tree that lives on the walk-way to our front door...maybe not the best place for it but you can see it from the entrance to the neighborhood so that's something, right?

This year, we decided to bring the design indoors.

Bringing the Party Indoors

If you look closely you can see Hot Papa making spaghetti.  And my messy kitchen table.  Oh well, thus is life.  So now you are probably wondering, "How do I make one of these lovelies ditties?"  Guess what?  I'm about to tell you.  You'll need a few hours, some tools, eye hooks, scrap wood, spray paint, and a sense of humor for this one.  I tend to take a rapid fire approach to creation:  I don't measure and just see what happens.  Hot Papa is much more calculated so this project was a chance for both of us to give a litte.  The tree is straighter than I tend to like and it's not as straight as Hot Papa would have on his own.  Compromise!  So let's get started.

Things you'll need:

1.  A saw.  We have one of these:  DeWalt Circular Saw .  It's a great product and easy to use.

2.  Scrap wood.  We used a 1x4 for the tree trunk and 2x4's and other scraps for the branches.

3.  Spray Paint.  I really like the Rustoleum brand.  Here's a few links to the colors we used for this tree.    Green Meadow and Hunter Green.  Ps.  You tree doesn't have to be green.
4.  Eye Hooks:  Golden Eye Hooks
5.  A Makita electric drill.  That's the brand Hot Papa has and it's pretty fabulous because it charges so quickly.  Honestly, you don't need anything near as fancy but if you or your other likes power tools this is a good one.
6.  Your Imagination!

In order to make the tree branches spaced somewhat regularly we laid out a couple of scrap 1x4s to frame the tree and then took a pencil and made tic marks on the wood we were using as branches to serve as cutting guides.

Our make-do guide

As you can see, we didn't measure (my contribution) but we did use something as a guide (Hot Papa's contribution).  We wanted the "branches" to adhere to a traditional Christmas tree shape so we used what we had and did the best we could with it.  

After you cut your branches the next step is to paint them.  We tied them up to a rope and hung them from a tree branch in our front yard to spray paint them, cuz we are white trash.  We waited an hour or so for them to dry.

Drying Party in the Garage...woot woot!

Once they branches dried the annoying part came in.  We had to attach all the eye hooks so we could hang our ornaments.  This step wasn't hard it just took a while.  First we drilled a hole and then put each eye hook in place.  I did this part.  I didn't have any sort of pattern I was adhering to and by the end I just wanted to be done.  I suggest random placement for your eye hooks.  This takes a little pressure off of being perfect.  Keep your ornaments in mind as you do this step.  I knew what I had so I was able to visualize how much distance between ornaments and I needed.

After you've completed your eye hook placement the only thing left is to screw your boards to the trunk.  Place them however you want.  They can be straight.  They can be crooked.  Who cares?  

Hot Papa made a tree stand for our tree but you can just as easily lean it up against a wall.  

Merry Crafty Christmas!

The LMITCTPFAHM Half-Marathon Experience

I did it!!!!!!!!!!! Pushing my kid!!!!!!!!! 14 minutes faster than I thought I would!!!!!!!!!!!!

And it is over!

Race Day SWAG

The First Annual 'Lauren Maleski I'm too Cheap to Pay for a Half Marathon Half Marathon" is over.  This past Saturday me (and Maddox), Hot Papa, and four other guys hit the pavement at 7:30 AM and ran our hodge podge half-marathon.  We even had a water table set up at the 5 mile mark thanks to some forward thinking on the part of one of the runners.  Having a water table with a homemade sign that reads "water for the half-marathon"placed in someone's front yard kind of makes us a big deal.

I made goodie bags and quasi-medals for all participants and even included a turtle figurine for the slowest runner.  I coined it "the slow poke" award.  I picked a real cute wooden turtle for this because I knew I was going to be the winner of said award and I liked it.  I also made t-shirts.  Nothing says I'm a runner and you should know it like a race t-shirt.  You know those people who seem to have endless supplies of race t-shirts?  They kind of annoy me.  It's like saying, "yep, I got up at the butt crack of dawn to go be awesome while you slept and then ate pancakes."  The shirts I made are totally tacky and with a side of white trash.  I don't know that anyone will ever wear those but that's not the point.  I was trying to be official with absolutely no budget.  So get of my back!

I've been training for this stupid run since November of last year.  I had to take a hiatus in March with the flare up of my unwelcome yet perpetually invited old friend Anorexia.  Initially, we were going to do this in April but I couldn't.  I had to exercise other parts of myself during that period and part of that was letting go of training until I could do it in a healthy way.  I think that's the biggest victory for me in all this.  I maintained a healthy weight and only dropped a couple of pounds the last week.  That wasn't on purpose.  All that running just catches up to you.  That evening I had a huge dinner and drank 3 glasses of wine and then filled up on leftover crappy Halloween candy.  IT WAS AWESOME!!

I wish I could tell you I had some sort of revelation during the run...but I didn't.  I remember thinking around mile 10 that this isn't so bad.  Immediately followed by the thought that I know this feeling isn't going to last.  I'm going to hate this again at mile 12.  I kind of did hate it again but then I knew I had only 1.1 miles to go and that's nothing.  After a few days of reflection, here's what I can say about the experience:

1. I'm glad I did it
2. I'm also glad it's over
3. I think I want to run 15 miles
4. I know I DON'T want to run 26.2
5. I'm incredibly thankful for a child who likes the jogging stroller
6. I'm super blessed to have a husband who caters to my whims and joins in
7. I'm also super blessed to have the Smiths!  You should know Jared and Sarah.
8. Mind games are what got me through
9. I am goal oriented (aka, I don't know what to do with myself at the gym now)
10. If I put as much time into my spiritual walk as I did running...
11. I detest feeling hungry and don't like to feed myself (aka, I have to be counterintuitive in order to successfully train for long distances and THAT's OKAY)
12. I like making awards
13. I really like bluegrass music for the first 7 miles and then booty music for the rest
14. Gina, Curt, and Sharon should have totally been there
15. Living in FL has it's advantages:  flat roads, good folks, cooler mornings
16. I really like November
17. Moleskin works! 
18. I'm super proud of my nasty callused toes  
19. There's absolutely no reason to pay money to run
20. I should have taken before and after pictures but by the time I was done I just didn't care
21. Why do people always look cute in their after pictures?  I looked like crap.

All in all it was a good day.  

No More Hiding

Not me...but my new haircut

So I chopped my hair again.  Imagine my face on this hair cut and that's pretty much what you got.  I'm not great at posting pictures of myself alone so you'll just have to use your imaginations.  I believe in you.

My immaculate hairdresser, Dianne Smith, does superb work.  I literally visit her twice a month because I keep changing my mind about what I want to do with my hair.  I take her tons of pictures and somehow she comes up with exactly what I want.  I love that!!! I love having someone I trust.  I never understood the hairdresser relationship until I found someone who I never want to lose.

A couple of months ago I decided that it was time for a change.  I had already gotten another tattoo and facial piercings are out of the question because Hot Papa is a little too conservative for that.  Hey, I married him and I knew that, so I'm down.  I digress, I decided that perhaps the change I needed had to do with my head.  Double entendre anyone?  Those of you who read this know that I've been on a journey this year.  A journey into motherhood, a journey into selflessness and out of selfishness, and a journey into becoming who I believe I was created to be.  I am learning to hide no more. 

Stay with me, my hair totally applies.

I've always clung to my hair.  It's usually long and, honestly, I've got good hair.  It is pretty and full and vibrant.  And I have come to realize it is a crutch for me.  You see, I struggle with my own self-image, like you couldn't figure that out on your own.  When I didn't feel thin enough or feminine enough I always had my hair and for some reason that made me feel better.  If I wasn't rail thin or sexy at least I had pretty hair...that's something, right?  Somehow my long hair covered the fact that I have absolutely no boobs and don't always feel like a girl...too much information?  

I stared with a drastic chop.  My 10 inch ponytail was unceremoniously lopped off and the moment I felt the release it was like a load was taken off.  Added bonus:  My new hair was super cute.  I stayed with it for a couple of months and then, last week, figured, "My hair hasn't been this short in like 20 years.  Why not just go for the big chop and see what happens."  So I did.

I love the freedom of my new do but I still don't quite know who I'm looking at in the mirror.  I've never used anything other than good ole shampoo and conditioner so this whole product thing confuses the crap out of me.  There's pomade, there's wax, there's gel, there's gunk and each type has a whole subset of varieties.  It overwhelms me so for now I'm rocking the puffy all natural look.

I'm glad I did this.  I'm glad that I now know I can survive without my hair and that who I am isn't and shouldn't be wrapped up in the fuzz that resides on my head.  I know this isn't changing the world but I think this little experiment is changing me.

I Decided Something

...that's what I decided.  "Jamaica, no problem."  No, I'm not going to Jamaica to avoid making a decision but I am going to adopt the phrase and apply it to my current situation.

I'm going to do the best I can and then say, "Jamaica, no problem." Because that's all I can do really.  I can try my best and then the rest is up to someone else.  If I know that I have done that then I do not have to be in knots anymore.

Thanks Straub family for the adorable onsie that you bought my son when you went on your cruise that has this saying.  I'd forgotten about it until this afternoon (because my son is HUGE and can't wear it anymore).

Indecisive Undecider

Somebody Just Tell Me What To Do

I am terribly, horribly, magnificently indecisive.  I just want someone to tell me what to do.  Seriously, I'm great at following rules.  Just tell me what I should do, I'll do it, and we can all move on with our lives

...yeah right

I wish the above statement were true.  To me it just sounds like a whole bunch of justification.  It's like saying, "I'm so whimsy.  I don't make decisions because they crush my spirit and my spirit needs to be free to float into whatever realm...blah, blah, blah."

Indecision makes me feel like this.

Rather, indecision makes me feel crazy.  It makes my stomach hurt.  It makes me question everything.  I think the real reason I don't like to make decisions is because once I do I am responsible for them.  Come what may I chose that path.  I don't like that one bit.  I don't want to be blamed for choosing the wrong thing.  Naturally, I want praise for when I choose the better way.  Because I am prideful.  Because I want to be right.  Because I want people to think I'm smart.  If I decide something and it turns out to be the lesser of the choices available to me and there are repercussions, I want to point my fingers to someone or something else.  I DON'T WANT TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING THAT DOESN'T FEEL GOOD.  There, I said it.  I don't want to be the reason someone is sad.  I don't want to be the reason someone is annoyed.  I don't want to be the reason someone gets angry.  I don't want to cause pain of any kind whatsoever to anyone else.  So I don't decide.

Then I melt and get tired and take a nap.

And that doesn't change anything.

I suppose it is time to be a grown-up.  I need to sit down and figure out what I want and then start making decisions that move me in that direction.  And deal with the choices I made cuz I'm a big kid now.  I really don't want chaos in my life although it always seems to find me and ends up staying a while.  It's like chaos is my friend.  We have breakfast, he chooses, and then we run (and I'm always faster but he never quits trying to catch me), and then I take a nap and when I wake up he's still there.  Curse you Chaos.  Go home.  Leave me alone...oh yeah, I let you in didn't I and I don't have the guts to stand up and decide I don't want you in my house anymore.  Back to square 1 I go.

Today I am going to attempt a decision.  I haven't decided what my answer is yet.  Baby steps.  But I'm going to decide and then I'm going to deal with the fallout.  There may not be one.  But there might.

From Here to There

I often find myself asking, "What's next?"  In fact, I live in the what's next most of the time and have been trying to be purposeful about living in the right now.  I think I've been doing a better job of that as of late but now I find myself asking the questions again. 

2 years ago at this time, I was in Cambridge, MA meeting with Lesley University about their graduate program in Expressive Therapies.  I was making plans, filling out applications, moving forward.  I had been searching for a long while to find a way to combine my love of science and the arts with my natural tendency to be a voice for the voiceless and thought I had found my calling...

Then I found out I was pregnant with the Loin Fruit.  The applications were put away along with my dreams and I began to concentrate on the life inside me.  He was/is my greatest priority.  But where does that leave Lauren?  Lauren on her own.  Lauren with desires.

I love the Loin Fruit.  He is the best thing that has ever happened to me.  But I struggle with my desire to put my talents to use on a larger scale.  Yes, I know being a parent is the highest calling.  Yes, I know his well being is more important than my own.  Yes, I know I've been given a gift in him.  But that doesn't mean that I don't have desires of my own anymore.  I am his mother but I am also an individual.  I have likes and dislikes of my own.  I have talents.  I have a need to create and heal. 

I do not know how to reconcile the two.

I also live in a place that does not cater to the things I am good at.  I spent the first 8 years of my marriage in my car essentially.  I drove back and forth and up and down to make something of myself.  I am an artist but my current location is not some place that allows me to do that full time.  I was bitter for a really long time about that.  I am not anymore.  I am not bitter that is.  I am sad.  It makes me wonder if I just gave up because of my circumstances or perhaps those circumstances are a chance for me to find new avenues for my passions.  I've had minor success here writing and directing plays but nothing on the scale of what I believe I am capable of.  So do I dwell on the limitations or do I try another path?  I have faced the resentment I feel and choose not to remain there because it isn't fruitful.  I do not want to be angry.  I want to be free.  Of course, this does not change anything on the outside but it changes me. 

I have always felt like a square peg in a round hole forcing myself into tight spaces that suffocate me for the good of everyone else.  The cost of doing so has been far greater than the reward.  I find myself resenting people I love because of it.  They didn't ask me to be the way I am.  I chose that.  I wasn't honest.  I didn't speak my truth.  I put them ahead of me and then passively punished them for it all the while shrinking on the inside.  That's my fault.  I own that.  Now, I am trying to live differently.

And so I am asking the what's next question again.  I want to be present but still moving forward.  Does that make sense?  I'm here.  I want to be fully aware here but I want to live a life that progresses onward to there, wherever there is.  But how? For now I take on projects.  I write my books.  I try to refurbish junk.  I run.  But these things temporarily pacify me.  They take up time in my day so that I do not turn to anger or resentment.  They do for now but not forever.